Sex File: He doesn't like me being vocal in bed

Learning how to accommodate differences is a central challenge in any relationship

Mon, 17 Mar, 2025 - 02:00

Suzi Godson

I've always been quite vocal and confident about what I want in bed, but my new partner has suggested it puts him off his stride. I've tried to get him to tell me what he wants and likes, but I can't seem to get him to let go. Everything else has been promising up to now. Is this a fundamental incompatibility?

There is nothing wrong with being vocal during sex, and many women would probably have more satisfying sex lives if they took a leaf out of your book, but the fact that it is putting your partner off his stride is a problem. Your approach to this issue has been to try to get your partner to do what you do, but that is not going to work for a very obvious reason: a man who doesn't appreciate having a vocal partner is hardly going to feel comfortable giving instructions himself.

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